The Driver and the Idiot
by Nicdragon8
Summary: Stuck in a world he barely knows about, Allen Mcmurg is forced to embark on a journey into an unknown world that wreaks with danger around every corner and his only weapon is his guitar, a machete, and...the biggest idiot ever created in web video history, now after all of this he only has one thing to say, "Now I know how Church feels" (Slow Updates) A bit more summary inside.
1. Summary

I don't own Red Vs Blue or Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Summary

"Okay what happens when you take an ordinary guy from Earth and send him into a world he barely knows and give him a Blade right after that...oh yeah but also at the same time."

"Hello"

"...it turns out that he wasn't the only one in this strange world alone."

"As it turns out, he was sent here along with the biggest lovable idiot in"

"Hello"

"-video web history ever, so yeah now he has to survive in a world."

"Hello"

"WHERE he has to-"

"Hello"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF CABOOSE WOULD JUST SHUT UP ALREADY I"M TRYING TO DO A THING!"

"Okay"

'Sign' "Look people, all I can say... is that I finally understand how Church feels."

 **A/N**

 **Okay people so it's me coming at you with another story, this time a lone OC that is stuck with the biggest idiot of RvB.**

 **I'm not gonna lie, but updates will be slow as I never played Xenoblade Chronicles 2 so everything that you'll see is me uploading a chapter after watching and rewatching walkthroughs.**

 **So everyone who's reading this, just bare with me on it.**

 **So like always Favorite this, Follow this, or both.**

 **This is Nicdragon8 signing off.**


	2. Chapter 1

I don't own Red vs Blue or Xenoblade Chronicles 2 just the OC and the plot.

 **Taking an Unexpected Vacation**

 **(Somewhere in the U.S. Allen's P.O.V.)**

It was hot…it was so freaking hot in Florida right now that I just wanted to lay down and have a fan blow fresh cool air into my face.

But no instead I'm here helping my old Friend Mitch move into his new beachside house.

"Huff…huff…tell me again why I'm doing this Mitch?" I asked my old childhood friend as he was carrying a box full of stuff into his new home.

Mitch is a man in his early twenties with his dirty blonde hair, average pale skin, and brown eyes. Right now, he was wearing sandals, brown khaki shorts, and a under shirt. While I was wearing a pair of brown cargo pants and a brown T-shirt along with a pair of tennis shoes while wearing a cap.

I also had dark brown eyes and brown hair to go with my current color scheme. I was tall as I was standing at least six feet and three inches. Had a light tan skin and looked pretty average like all other guys out there.

"Because you agreed to help me out remember." He replied.

"Oh, I remember, what I don't remember is that you forgot to leave out the fact that your new place is all the way in FLORIDA!" I exclaimed at him for not telling me where he was moving to.

"Well I don't see the problem since you came all the way out here to help me." He stated the obvious.

"Help you!? I drove nearly eighteen hours to get here all the way back home from Indiana. Did you know that the traffic to here is fucking terrible?" I asked him incredulously.

"Oh, quit your wining Allen and help me finish unloading, we still got a couple more boxes to unload."

I ended up groaning at this. "Alright let's get this done already." I said as I went to unload another box from the truck.

After thirty more minutes have past, the two of us finally unloaded the moving truck, but now that left us with one more problem.

"Uh…hey Allen!?" Mitch called out to me.

"Yeah!" I answered to him as I started to open the boxes.

"I…kinda need your help here!" He said.

"What is it?" I asked as I took out what looks like to be some video games.

"Come out here and see." He told me.

I got up and head outside. Once I was there, I saw Mitch by the moving truck.

"Okay Mitch I'm here, so what do you need?" I asked him as I walked up to him.

"Oh Allen…well…why don't you take a look inside." He said as I looked inside the moving truck and what I saw what was inside completely shocked me.

"Hey Mitch." I said to him.

"Yeah." He answered.

"Do you mind telling me why your family couldn't help you with your move?" I asked him.

"Because they're all busy doing their own thing." He answered

"Uh huh and do you mind me asking on what those things are?" I asked.

"Well my parents are out of country right now because they decided to take a vacation to Cancun, so they won't be back for a while…and as for my brother he was deployed to England two weeks ago." He said.

"Okay, okay I understand, but that just leaves me with one more question." I said as my current tone started to make Mitch a bit nervous.

"And what question is that Allen?" He asked me.

"Oh the question is HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSE TO MOVE THAT?!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as the only thing left to move in the moving truck was Mitch's gigantic refrigerator.

"Uh we move it ourselves obviously." He said as if the answer was plain and simple.

…

…

"Goddammit Mitch." I cursed under my breath.

 **(Some time later)**

After moving the fridge for who knows how long and getting it into place in the kitchen, Mitch and I started to unpack all the boxes.

"Hey Mitch, what's this?" I asked him while holding up a game that I didn't recognize.

The game that I held in my hand was a bit narrow than a regular case for a console game. On the cover, it had some sort of giant monster in the distance with a young boy in blue holding a big sword that was stuck in the ground on the hill he's on along side a girl wearing a red outfit that matched her red hair.

There was also a giant tree in the background that was shown right above the giant monster. I couldn't see the faces of the two people on the cover because their backs were facing me and by the looks of it, the boy looked younger than the girl as the girl stood a lot taller than him.

"Oh that, Allen do you not know what that is?" Mitched asked me.

"Yeah…it's a video game." I answered nonchalantly.

"WHAT!" He yelled as he got up and ran to grab me by the shoulders.

"DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS!?" He screamed into my face.

"NO AND LET GO OF ME!" I yelled at him as I shoved him off.

"Dude this is Xenoblade Chronicles 2. It came out last year and has been one of the best games I ever played."

"Well good for you and I can already tell that this is one of those games where you drool over the hot girls they have in here." I said to him.

"Oh, Allen you could not be anymore right." He said creepily.

"What?" I said.

"Allen…the girls in this game…are beyond hot…they are absolutely FUCKING GORGEOUS!" He said.

"Why am I not surprise." I muttered.

"Allen how could you not know about this game?" He asked me.

"I don't know, maybe because I don't see this type of game in commercials." I said.

"Yeah, but still man I pretty sure you look up new games occasionally." Mitch said to me.

"I do, but I only look up games for the console I have which are the PS4 and the Xbox One." I said to him. "I don't own a Nintendo Switch which by the way is the platform that this game is on."

"Oh dude, you gotta catch up with the switch games, I mean these girls in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 will blow your socks off if you saw them."

"Knock it off Mitch, I'm not that into video game girls like you." I said to him.

"Oh really?" He asked me as he crossed his arms for some reason.

"Uh…yeah really."

"Then what about what happened a couple of years ago when the Wii first came?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

"Oh nothing, except for the fact that you were in LOVE with a video game girl yourself!"

…

…

"Mitch…what are you talking about?"

"Oh don't dumb with me Allen, you remember, it was in the game uh…what was it called uuhh "Wario…Smooth Moves", yes it was called "Wario Smooth Moves" remember Allen."

()-()

"Mitch…you better not be talking about that time."

"Oh indeed I am. You were seriously into that cheerleader chick in the game, what was her name…M-mona, yeah that was her name Mona. You were soooooo into her." He said.

"I was only kid back then!" I yelled.

"And yet you confessed your love to a girl that wasn't even real to begin with." He said to me playfully.

"Oh, please just shut up right and let just finish this Mitch." I said to him.

The both of us unpacked and scrambled through various things that were packed up until I came across something that caught my interest.

"Well I'll be." I said.

"What?" Mitch asked as he finished unpacking another box.

"You kept." I said as I reveal to him an acoustic guitar.

"You kept the guitar I gave you on your birthday." I said to him.

"Well…yeah I mean ptff were guitar buddies remember." He told me, and I ended up remembering what we called ourselves in the past.

I chuckle at that. "Guitar buddies… yeah I remember, but I also remember that the both suck at playing guitar."

"You mean that YOU sucked at paying the guitar, but me…I was awesome."

"Haha, alright hot shot, if you were so good at playing the guitar, then how come you couldn't get yourself a date for prom?" I asked.

"Hey, I DID get a date for prom and me being good at playing a guitar has nothing to do with that."

"Uh huh and bringing your cousin to the prom doesn't even count as a date." I said.

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Oh you shut your mouth, at least I HAD a date, but what about you. You had nobody to go with."

"Yeah…yeah I know…I just…couldn't find one."

There was a long pause between us after that.

"Y-you uh…wanna get back to unpacking?" Mitch asked me.

"Sure." I said to him as I remember how I couldn't find anyone to be my date for prom.

For the next few hours, Mitch and I finished unpacking all the boxes and moved the items in them to the designated rooms Mitch wanted them in.

Once that was all set and done, I told Mitch that I wanted to use his computer and he told me that he left it in his now set up little office on the second level of the house.

I went upstairs into the designated room where the computer was in, once I found the right room, I had a look around it.

Inside the room was a desk, some filing cabinets and pencil cup with some pens in it, in the corner was Mitch's guitar and there was even something mounted on the which was a…machete…which was strange to have in the first place, but when I asked Mitch about it earlier he told me that he keeps it in case something happens. I tried asking him about that, but he just told me this,

"I have that machete for ANYTHING." I told me as he literally got up into my face to make his point.

I just nodded uneasily at this as I was creeped out by his actions.

But anyway I went to the computer, turned it on and headed for RoosterTeeth's website.

Once I was there, I decided to watch some old shows.

"Okay let me see here hhmmmm…'Camp Camp', no, 'RWBY' Volume one, no…ah here we are 'Red vs Blue'." I muttered as I skimmed through the various shows on RoosterTeeth.

As I was looking through which episode to watch, that was when Mitch called out to me.

"Hey Allen!" Mitch called me from down stairs.

"Yeah!" I answered him.

"I'm ordering take out, so what do you want?"

I thought about this for a moment. "Order some 'Boston Market' for me." I said to him.

…

…

…

"What did you just say!?" He asked to me in a surprise tone which confused me.

"Did you just say Boston Market?" He asked again.

"Yeah…why?" I asked.

"Allen, we are in Florida right now. I who the hell wants 'Boston Market' in Florida?"

"You don't know if they even have a 'Boston Market' here." He said to me.

"Oh and you know this how?" I asked

"W-well no I don't, but after what we've been through today, I think we deserve to eat something good." He said.

"And 'Boston Market' isn't good?" I asked incredulously.

"I said good, not fancy!" He said.

"Well okay then mister 'I'm too good for fancy food' what do you suggest then?" I asked him.

"Uh how about some pizza." He suggested.

I thought about for a moment. "Alright fine order us some pizza."

"Alright then…"

"But order two pizzas." I said to him before he made the order.

"Why? I'm ordering quite a bit of food Allen, I mean I'm also ordering wings and some dessert."

"Wait, where are you even ordering from?" I asked.

"Pizza Hut." He said.

"Oh, okay but still order us two pizzas." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"After the long ass drive here and all the work I put into helping you today, I feel like I deserve to eat my own pizza." I said to him.

"Oh, alright then, so what kind of pizza do you want?"

"A supreme with extra mushroom." I said to him.

"Okay, kind of disgusting, but alright."

"Screw you man I like mushrooms!" I yelled to him.

"Okay, okay one supreme pizza with extra mush…"

"And don't forget to get the bleu cheese for the wings…and ranch sauce!"

"Okay Allen alright, I'll make sure to tell them." Mitch told me and that was when he decided to order the food.

With that in mind, I started to watch some old RvB shows.

 **(Third P.O.V)**

Unknown to Allen was that while he was watching Red vs Blue, his old friend Mitch had hooked up his Nintendo Switch to his TV and started playing Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

"Okay time to finish chapter five." Mitch said as his game was loading.

But as both males did their own separate thing, something unknown to them was approaching from the outside.

Out in the distance was a huge mass of dark clouds in the sky with light shooting out of them as it approached the beach house.

The two men in the house were unable to hear the thunderstorm coming towards them as the two of them had put on headsets as to not be disturbed by any other noise.

"Okay episode eight "Test your Might" 'chuckles' I love the part where thinks he gonna do, but next thing that happens is his failure." Allen said as he began to watch the season thirteen episode of RvB.

Allen watched to the part where it got to the big blue idiot being shown inside the portal.

But just as it was about to show that part. A huge bolt of lightning struck the antenna of the beach house sending a huge surge of electricity throughout the entire building.

"What the!?" Allen shouted as he shot up from his chair as the screen on the computer started shining brightly.

"The HELL!?" Shouted Mitch as he saw that his TV screen was acting up, but at the same time the screen was getting abnormally bright.

Both light shone so bright, that it covered the entire house in a huge flash of light as the entire place was engulfed in it.

Soon the light faded, and the house was still there.

"Ugh what happen?" Mitch said as he rubbed his eyes from the light.

Once he opens them back up, he saw that everything was still in it its place.

"Okay everything seems in place, heck even the TV is still alright."

"But…wait…ALLEN!"

Mitch ran all the way upstairs and into his office to see if his friend is okay, but when he got there, what he saw made his face pale.

He saw the entire room was a mess and the there was a spot that looked like a bomb went off in it

And worse of all was that his friend Allen was nowhere in the room at all along with his guitar and the machete that his uncle had given him in case someone broke into his house.

All in all, Mitch only had one thing to say.

"FUCK! Now I have to pay for the pizza." He said and if his friend Allen was still there, then he would've called Mitch an inconsiderate prick for worrying more about paying for the pizza then his own safety.

 **Omake: Moving the fridge**

 **(Sometime earlier, Allen's P.O.V.)**

Right now, Mitch and I are moving his gigantic fridge into his house which proved to be very difficult due to the fridge heavy weight.

Getting the fridge out of the truck was easy, but the hardest part was getting it inside the house.

"Okay you got it from your end?" Mitch asked me as I was inside his house holding one end of the fridge.

"Yeah." I answered.

"Okay now twist it." He said.

…

"What?" I asked.

"Twist it." He repeated.

"Why would I twist it?" I asked.

"Uh…for what else, to get it in quicker." He said as if it was obvious.

"How would twisting it get it in quicker? That would just get it stuck in the door." I told him.

"Look I know how to do this, so just twist it alright." He said.

Signing, the both of us started twisting the fridge.

"What are you doing?" Mitch asked me.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm twisting the fridge." I said

"Not like that." Mitch said.

"What do you mean 'not like that'?" I asked confusingly. "I'm twisting it the same way your twisting."

"No not that way, look I'm twisting it counterclockwise so you gotta twist counterclockwise." He said.

"That doesn't make any sense." I said to him. "You're twisting it counterclockwise, so that mean I have to twist it clockwise."

"No you don't." He said.

"Yes I do." I replied.

"Look I know how to do this so just me okay, so you twist it counterclockwise since I'm also twisting it counterclockwise."

"No, no I'm not doing it." I said to him.

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

"Look put the damn fridge down first this is killing my fingers." I complained

The both of us set the fridge down gently and once that was done I started shaking my hands.

"Mitch, do you even know how clockwise and counterclockwise even works?" I asked him.

"Yes, I do, so since I'm moving it counterclockwise, then that would mean...ummm yeah you move it clockwise then."

…

…

'This is gonna take forever.' I thought as the two of us went back to lifting the fridge.

 **A/N**

 **Okay so here is the first official chapter of "The Driver and the Idiot"**

 **I hope you all enjoyed it**

 **But along with writing this chapter, I ended up coming up with another story idea revolving around our favorite blue idiot.**

 **This new story idea is called "Blue meets Titan"**

 **This is basically a RvB crossover with TitanFall where Caboose ends up in the Titanfall universe and you all know how Caboose first found Freckles…well he kind of does the same thing for a busted up Titan, but Caboose ends up adding a whole bunch of stuff to it that shouldn't be there.**

 **But back to the story, let see how Allen's trip to Alrest is in the next chapter called Driver! Blade! Caboose!...wait what?...okay that maybe the next chapter title, I'm still debating.**

 **So like always Favorite this, Follow this, or both**

 **This is Nicdragon8 sighing off**


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